In search of......

Why this Kolaveri Di

2012-01-21T10:38:00.000-08:00

The kolaveri bug has bitten the blog as well...Yes, why this murderous rage behind everything. We are all on a rage to get this, get that...Don't have a few minutes to do an introspection. Before we realize the time passes away and there will be a day when we all will have to say good bye to every one. So why this murderous rage now ? Like many said life is in the present moment. If your mind is filled with too many thoughts, cravings and aversions, you are not in the moment and you can not enjoy life to the fullest...So...

Why this Kolaveri Kolaveri Kolaveri Di
Why this Kolaveri Kolaveri Kolaveri Di
Why this Kolaveri Kolaveri Kolaveri Di

Why Yes to What is?

2011-12-18T23:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone is saying "acceptance: and "saying Yes to what is" is the path to peace. What is the logic behind saying yes to what is. What happens when you say yes to what is or accept things as they are ?..

When you say yes completely, there ends further thoughts. Not accepting causes more thoughts and more pain. If there are no thoughts, there is no pain. I guess that is why the surrender and the acceptance are given so much importance. If you allow your mind to question, it will keep coming up with more thoughts and each of them prevent you from being peaceful. Is there any other reason to be on complete acceptance or surrender? I don't know. Complete surrender or acceptance is peace. Because without a resisting thought, there is no mental pain. Isn't it look very simple ?

Desires....

2011-09-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

Recently I have noticed one thing happening with my desires. I still get many desires, but they don't have the momentum of the past. So desires arise and when they arise the mind wants to do something about it. A few hours later, the desire is gone and mind is free. But it can come again after a few days. In short it is like clouds coming and going in the sky. If you caught up with the desire saying that it is the real you, then you are stuck. Allowing the desire to be there and knowing that it is only a passing thought, you don't act on it. That way you can get out of the desire. The more you see this happening, the more will be your awareness and it is a cycle which help increase your awareness. However if you start acting on the desire or think that it is really the thing that you want, you will get stuck. One thing will lead to another and you will end up in a vicious cycle.

May you have the awareness to see desires as desires and separate from you!!!...

Jai Gurudev...

Living With Awareness

2011-06-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

Are you living with awareness ? What a question huh ? Many people think this is a stupid question. Stop for a moment - Are you consciously aware now? Are you out of the thoughts, desires and feelings ? If so then you can truly be aware. In that awareness you can feel the silence. You can recognize the illusion called this world. Is there any purpose ? What is going on around you? The life will present a new meaning (or should I call it no meaning?) to you. You will appreciate every thing as it is. Good-bad, right-wrong,happy-unhappy - all the opposites cease to exist for you. You will find peace in the middle of chaos. Your emotions will be just spontaneous burst out of no where and wont last long. Your likes and dislikes will lost their influence and you will see the world as it is....

Live with awareness....

Boredom.....

2011-02-20T10:03:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been seeing a kind of boredom setting in on me. In this boredom, I get bored by activities and enjoy being myself. That includes even thinking and planning. All of them seem to be boring. Just being myself and with myself is the most desirable activity.

I have noticed a recent recognition of the impermanence of everything. When this recognition started happening in you, you will notice a disinterest - No it is not a lack of interest - It is a state of mind where in you don't want to change anything that is happening. You will see a total acceptance happening in you. There is already a momentum in your life and it will keep going, but you want to start or plan fewer and fewer new things..

Don't know the meaning of everything happening, but one thing I have realized for sure. The moment you start focusing away from the changing things or situations in your life, you will enter into a new world ( we are all living in different mental worlds), where you don't know anything - An adventure so far interesting as well as scary!.....

I invite you to step outside of your normal life to see life in a different perspective.

What do you see

2011-01-18T21:57:00.000-08:00

When you see people around you, what do you see? For last 40 years (that tells you that this body is 40 years old in the current form. The ingredients of the body were never created nor destroyed. This form appeared or evolved over last 40 years). Recently I have been going through a phenomena. Whenever I see beauty around me, I was constantly reminded about the impermanence of forms. I have been seeing a kind of sadness arising in me. I don't know whether I can call it sadness, rather a lack of interest. Today while returning back from work, an old man(Probably in his 60s) was sitting next to me. I looked around and saw a lot of young people in the Bus. Suddenly this thought passed through me that everyone of these young bodies will be old one day and the reality of changes to this body also came into my awareness....

What am I really trying to do or accomplish? Is there anything there to do really? or even further is there any one at all...hey...is there anyone there...

Love...

Where is the suffering ?

2010-12-27T23:55:00.001-08:00

Where is the suffering? There is no one in the world who could say that they have not faced suffering. But when asked who was suffering and where is the suffering, they are not able to answer completely. In order to suffer, there has to be someone who has to own the suffering. Right? When one start searching for the sufferer, if one is earnest, he will not be able to find the sufferer. Without a sufferer, where is the suffering?

All happens in mind, like in a movie. Movie is very real and at the same time very imaginary. The pictures and sounds creates an impression/reaction on your mind and you for a moment loses your awareness and believes that the movie is true. Once the movie is over and the awareness is back from the Screen, then what happens? A few memories remains and that too over time fades away. Right? Isn't the same with life?...

Come on guys.....see the fallacy....:)

Love
Jai Gurudev

What is the meaning?

2010-11-21T00:39:00.000-08:00

When you are silent, you will see a part of you is just there and it does not do anything. You can identify a non doing part in you. What is that? Is it the real you? I don't know. But one thing is sure - There is a part of me just aware of everything without any notions or concepts. What is the use of knowing it? (I don't know whether I can say knowing it. May be just recognizing it). May be no use. After all is there any meaning to anything in this universe? We make up meaning and importance to all things. Absolutely, nothing is important. When you know nothing is important, then there is peace - The real peace.

When you see the non doer part of you, and accept that as the real you, then there is a freedom from the responsibility to do things - Isn't it that we all want in life?

One could ask, I don't agree, but I am doing a lot of things. Okay, let us start from the fundamentals - Who is doing ? The body is doing. Right? How does body do anything? Because there has to be a preceding thought. Right? So what caused the thought to arise? aha...hold on for a sec. Can you make a thought to arise in you?......

Have fun...

Jai Gurudev,

5 years on the path

2010-07-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

It is going to be 5 years since I met my guru. I met him for the first time on Gurupoornima at San Francisco in 2006. This year is going to be my 5th gurupoornima with my guru. Many things have changed. But I realized I am changeless and it is the guru that made me see the truth. When I reflect on how much I have grown on the path, I feel ever more grateful to my lord. There still things to learn, sadhana to do, karma to experience, fears & pleasures, desires & aversions to overcome - but they have lost their significance. On a big schema of things they don't matter any more. They are like clouds- come and go- but I know they are not the truth. At this time I am so thankful to my gurudev(who reflects all the masters in the world) who made me see the truth.

I don't know what the spiritual experiences mean. They are no different than materialistic experiences - both will pass. To treat one better than other is foolishness. I know I exist outside of any thing that can be explained or experienced, but don't know what it is. Some time there is desire to know and sometime there isn't. At this point, I am happy that I see the fallacy of the world view that made the life much more fun than it used to be.....have fun!

Love and blessings
jai gurudev

Seeing the life in every one

2010-04-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

What do you see when you see people around you? Are you seeing them as a concept in your head or seeing them as they are? As they are, nothing but the expression of life. But as concepts in your head, they are just in-animate objects. How does a person in your life differ from a table in your house? It is just how your mind treats it right? When you know that it is all about you, your like/dislike, love/ hate and all the dualities vanish. When the dualities vanish, you dawn on the peace that you are....

We all have enough pointers, tools and gurus to guide us. All it needs is a little bit of courage to walk the path, courage to explore, courage to find the truth....

All you need is a moment with the truth, once tasted, it will follow you and take you. Stronger the impressions, cravings and aversions, more time it takes to live the reality all the time...

Love

Jai Gurudev..

Have you seen the lamp post ?

2010-04-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the lamp post outside your house? What a question. huh? But it is not. Most of us have not seen the obvious. Spiritual life is like that. We are not seeing the obvious. To see the obvious mind has to enter into a silent space in which it can see things as they are, hear sounds as they are. When there is gap in the incessant noise that is going on inside us, we will start seeing the obvious. Consider yourself lucky if you notice the lamp post outside your house. Then you have entered a silent space inside you.

Normally the things need to be big enough to create a silence inside you - Deep love, Loud noise, Beautiful scenery, nice music - All these creates a silent space inside us or it forces the noise machine to be silent. When the noise machine is silent, you know who you are and the peace will follow...

Love in Silence..

"I am"

2010-04-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

Whatever you see and whatever you experience - is it true? Where does the experience happen? Can you say for sure whatever you have heard, seen, felt is true? Whether you analyze it scientifically or philosophically, all the perceptions are relative or untrue. When one perceives, he feel the perception is true. But in fact there is noway one can prove that the perceptions are true. However one absolutely can not deny the existence of himself. That is " I am"...That is all one can be sure of and that is what all the books and scriptures have told you. Beyond I am what is there? I don't know....

When you know absolutely that "you are", then life changes - You loose the interest in all the perceptions. They are interesting and but more like a game....

Be " you are" and see the fun in this world...

Love
Jai Gurudev..

Business & Spirituality

2010-03-24T22:30:00.001-07:00

It has been a constant question as how to manage life between business and spirituality. Many volumes have been written about it. Surely, this is adding to what is already said and nothing new. So why the heck to read this repetition?

If you care to read, here is my experience. As you walk the path more and more, the competing takes on a different dimension. The importance of winning wanes, however the intensity of competition may or may not decrease. One may ask then what is the point? But then it does not matter whether you compete or not. Right? The closer you see the reality, the less you care about the outcome. Now the question is whether the competing will continue or not. It may today and it may not tomorrow. But nothing really matters. A thought arise in you to make you do something. The thought is observed and the action may or may not happen. Whatever happens is happening and you are in the moment....

Hearing the conversation

2010-03-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

Do you hear your own conversation? What a question huh?...But think deeply. We normally have a noise making machine inside us. A constant radio that keeps churning out message after messages. Are you aware of that? When you are aware of that, you will see things clearly. Unless you are aware of what is going on inside your head, how can you know the world, let alone things beyond the world. Unless you know that all your knowledge is through your own colored glass, you will not know knowledge.. When you have seen the conversation in your head, then you will start seeing things as they are.

Once you start hearing the conversation in your head, then you realize that every knowledge points to only one thing. Or in another way, there is no knowledge. Have fun in gaining more and more knowledge!!

Wheel of Freedom

2010-03-06T17:46:00.000-08:00

Where do you find the beginning and end point of a Circle? Spiritual path is like that. Where will you start and where will you end? Everything that you do on the path will bring you back again to the same point. In spite of how many times you travel around circle, you won't see the end point of a circle.

All the knowledge points - Surrender, being in the moment, renouncing desires and thoughts, devotion, accepting people and situations - All are literally one thing. At the core of the knowledge points, you can not split these into multiple things. When you see this, an awareness of the unchanging one will rise in you - It is already there - Your focus has just shifted. What will it do ? It won't do anything. It is what is...What happens when you know yourself as not changing ? You stop caring less and less about the changing forms...

Vacation..

2010-02-24T23:44:00.000-08:00

We recently been on a vacation for a week. Throughout the vacation, one thing that I could notice was that every experience, every scene was on an external level. I could see and feel the unchanging part of me. The events, scenes,experiences - all arise and fall on the canvas of my life - While the canvas remain unaffected. What is the point in anything ? Whether on vacation or not, I remain myself. It is very simple - to see things as they are. Unfortunately we want to complicate things.

I guess the bottom line is to have higher awareness to see things as they are. An alertness, when you observe anything with that alertness, everything comes to live - Alive in the moment. If you take only the present moment, even the so called in animate things are also alive...

Some random contemplations...

2010-02-06T11:59:00.001-08:00

I have heard many times about that " You are not the Body". But it did not make any sense for a long time. My contemplation happens when I am in shower in the early mornings when there is no noice - or lesser noice - both internal and external and before the day starts happening - A few days back when I was in the shower I was thinking what I read before - I was thinking about my body. Suddenly the question whom does the body belong came up very strongly. Together with the awareness of the body came up an understanding that there is really more to me than the body and the thinking mind. I don't know what it is or where it is. It is not about experience. It is about understanding about the body and the mind. So you can be neither and the further understanding is somewhat intuitive. It has no experience whatsoever, but an understanding or shift that will take you away from the body and the mind - Or if I put it other way - more aware of both the mind and the body...

Sometimes looks so funny, but of late I am realizing more and more that I am....

Jai Gurude

What am I outside of me?

2010-01-06T00:09:00.000-08:00

What am I outside of me? For a moment step outside of who you consider yourself is and see what it brings to you. If you are not what you thought you are, then who are you? No answers are possible because every answer is from the understanding and knowledge we have gained as the person. What happens to the relationships, job, career, achievements ? Is there any true meaning? Isn't it really like acting in a movie? While it is OK to act in a movie, why do we have to carry the story with us all the time? If a movie has been really touching, the story keeps coming back to the actor, but the awareness that He is not acting any more is sufficient to bring the actor back to the reality. Likewise, bring your attention back to the reality that you are Not what you thought to be. Once you see this even for a moment, a shift happens in life. It surely does reduce your emotional suffering and gives you a sense of freedom - A freedom that you don't have to be anything, don't have to do anything - Isn't that the true moksha?

Will it change the world around you? It surely lightens up the way you perceive the world. I don't know anything more say....

Think for a little while as what you are if you drop the image about yourself and see what happens....

Jai Gurudev

Missing "Nothing'

2009-12-27T18:03:00.000-08:00

I was watching a video by Eckhart Tolle.(http://www.eckharttolle.com/home/). At one point he says " When you are behind something in your life, you miss Nothing" - What a beautiful point. Did you get it?

Love

Jai Gurudev

Leadership

2009-10-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

Recently my boss gave me a Harvard business School article on leadership. As I went through the article, I realized that all you need is an Art of Living course. While the Article nicely explains the problems various managers face, they don't provide practical solutions as how one can be an effective leader.

One of the main problems is as how you manage the relationship among your team and other employess. Your ability to think clearly and act accordingly is very important to be a successful leader. How can this be done? When you are not feverish, when you are not insecure and when you are not biased in your thinking, you can definitely do this. People might say it is easy said than done. Here is where the Sudarshan Kriya helps. If you have been doing Sudarshan Kriya regularly, your awareness increases gradually. After regular practice for sometime, your awareness will be high enough that you can watch your thoughts and feelings. When you are able to watch your thoughts and feelings, the lesser you will get carried away by these and can take highly objective decisions which will help you succeed as a leader or a manager.

Most of the time all of us knows what is right. However at the moment of the decision, we dont get the things right. Why is that? That is because your awareness is low, your mind is not sharp enough, your insecurities and prejudices take front seat, while your intellect take back seat. Only way to overcome this is by increasing your awareness and exactly that is what Sudarshan kriya does.

What are you waiting for ? check it out http://artofliving.org/

Jai Gurudev!!!

Life Times...

2009-08-09T21:01:00.000-07:00

I recently came across the Book - "Many lives, Many Masters" by Dr Brian Weiss. It talks about a doctor's journey into past lives of his patient and the impact that had on his life. This was an amazing book. Just think deeply about the possibility of Re-birth - Where does that leave you? Don't you see a certain amount of dispassion coming in? Your mom could have been your sister in some birth, father in some other and enemy in another birth - Think about the possibilities and your life will be transformed immediately. Dispassion happens immediately. You could no more think yourself as a man, woman, father, mother, friend, enemy, indian, american or even human being....You are just the life energy...

What is the purpose and what is the meaning? If we are going to take birth again, then what is the purpose of trying to do all these things? Nothing really matters. When we see that clearly then the meaning of life changes. The only thing then worth doing is to bring people aware of this possibility and the peace and contentment that comes with such knowledge.

May the true knowledge dawns in you...

Love

Questions and Answers

2009-04-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

Where does the questions come from ? Whatever the speaker says, the questions comes from lack of faith and belief. Every question is based on either trying to understand or agree or disagree. If there is complete faith and belief, then it does not matter whatever being spoken. The words have meaning only in the mind. So if there is no mind, then everything is as it is. When everything is as it is, no questions, no doubts...So every question whether it is good or bad, comes out of ignorance. That does not mean that we should not ask question. But, when the need to ask questions subside, you are in the knowledge or you are in the silence and then celebrating silence happens...

Love
Jai Gurudev

Illusion...

2009-03-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

All of us must have heard this saying that "everything is maya". If you have not heard it before, you have now heard it. So what is this maya? How does we make sense of it? Is it very complicated? I see everything as real and then why it is said everything is maya? These are some of the questions that keep coming up in my mind. I am sure all those are following a spiritual path must have heard this at one point or other.

I have also been thinking about it. So here is my version. If you have the eyes to see electrons, what will you in this world? Will you see any object? If you have the ears to hear sounds that are 1 million times smaller than the smallest noise, what will you hear? If you did not have ears or the sense of hearing what sounds will you hear? How do you know whether something is hot or cold? Are you seeing my point? So everything that you see in this universe is relative. There is no absolute reality in whatever we perceive. That is why it is said that whatever our senses perceive is a dream. Then what is the reality? Only thing you can say is there is a perceiver. That is true. You can not say your are not. You are there to perceive. But you don't know really the perception is true or not.

If you see this point, then you will attach less and less importance to the sense objects. Still you see, but wont see, hear but wont hear, feel but wont feel. Next thing is to shift your focus to the perceiver, the existence of which can not be denied......

What are you reading? Did you read anything?...All you read is what your mind want to read...

Love
Jai Gurudev

Timeless

2009-02-26T20:58:00.001-08:00

When does the time exist? What a question. Right? But, think about this. Time exists only because things are changing. In the realm of unchanging one, there is no time. If nothing is changing, then what is the purpose of time? Does it make sense?

If you go deeper into your inquiry, you will see you are not the body. Body comes only when there is attention on the body. When there is no attention, it is like any other thing made up of the 5 elements. So it is our awareness or consciousness that makes this body "ours". Further down you will find neither the feelings nor memory is real. All the memory and feelings come on top of the feeling that "I am". But then to whom the "I am" feeling comes? There must be someone or something that makes the " I am" feeling. This is because there are moments when you exist without the "I am" feeling - As in Sudarshan Kriya or in deep meditation. Sometimes it feels like an instant of lapse in memory. But what is it ? How do we know it ? The existence can be recognized, but can not be known. Because light can not see light. It makes seeing possible. I guess we all have recognized it to varying degrees. The strength of our realization makes it the living reality for us.

haha...what a joke...everything is a joke...

May divine give you the insight to see the timelessness....

Love

A Love letter

2009-02-14T10:04:00.000-08:00

I wrote this on Valentine's day, but never posted

My dear Gurudev,

On this valentine's day, Dear Gurudev, be my valentine. Let the true love arise in my heart. No anger, no hatred, no duality arise in me. You are the God who gave the aphorism of love, please bless me to awake in the true love. I have waited for life times to be with you, still you are far away from me. Where are you? When will you come to me? On this valentine's day, please fulfill my desire for the eternal love.

I have enjoyed the love of parents, spouse, friends and even enemies, but nothing is permanent. All that love is based on their perceived joy that they received from me. It is only you, who loved me unconditionally. When will I awake in that eternal love?

When that love arises, I am sure the need for all other love subsides..

Intensity of Prayer..

2009-02-07T23:48:00.000-08:00

This is a very personal experience that I had a few days ago. Me and my wife were fighting about a certain issue. I was angry, getting upset and was completely furious. I was also concerned about money. In short, I was completely tied to the Kama, Krodha, Lobha, Moha,Mad and Malsarya.

With whatever awareness I had, I have seen these feelings arise in me and then dropping. Sometimes the awareness allowed me to be an observer. At other times, the feelings pulled me down to the misery. Finally in the evening, I decided to go for Long Kriya. During the Kriya, I felt an intense desire to surrender all my feelings. I intensely prayed to Gurudev and told him please take these away from me. I don't need these sufferings with me anymore. At that instant, I felt a bright light on the right side of me and suddenly all the feelings were wiped away from me. An intense feeling of love and peace filled in me. I felt so happy and ever more grateful to my Gurudev, who took away all my little mindedness and brought true love to my heart.

This experience taught me two lessons - My Guru is with me always and secondly the success in the path is based on the intensity of your longing. If you are true from heart and have the intense longing, then the Divine can not wait, but come to you...

May divine bless you to go beyond the little mindedness and be truly established in the eternal...

Love..
Jai Gurudev

When will the search be over?

2009-01-31T11:26:00.000-08:00

When will the search be over?

I was browsing through the net looking for Bhajans. I am very fond of devotional Bhajans and I do have a very good collection. More than 250 bhajans, each one of them, if you listen with devotion is good enough to take you to bliss. However, I am not sure whether I have listened to all of them yet.

I do a pre-screening before downloading them into my computer and has became a collector of the Bhajans. Just today morning the awareness of what I was doing suddenly occurred to me. I am wasting my time looking for new ones, without enjoying what I have in my hand. This happens not only to Bhajan collection, but many more things. Knowingly or unknowingly we all keep collecting. What do we do with all these collections? Can we take this with us ? Not even this body that we can take along. Then why are we collecting?

This is a great insight for me. Stop Collecting - It is time to stop collections - Spiritual, material - everything - No need to collect anything anymore....No need to search for more ways to increase this or that....Just enjoy whatever you have collected and then surrender them back to the divine and be free....

Love and Jai Gurudev...

Atma Gita

2009-01-27T20:05:00.000-08:00

Some time back (more than a year) I was at the house of David, who was my first Art of Living Teacher. There, I happened to see a CD named "Sri Atma Gita" by Craig Pruess. I read through the introduction in the back of the CD and it read "Krishna's final song" and " A free translation by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar". At that time I did not feel anything. I just kept the CD back in the shelf and went back.

Recently, I was getting an urge to read or listen to Atma Gita. I went to the online Bookstore, but did not buy a copy. Then on January 14, Rishi Yogadhi Pragya made a visit to Seattle. While we were talking causually, he suddenly told me that he and his wife sang the Atma Gita and recorded them in a CD and he presented a CD to me. That evening we sang the Atma Gita. I felt Atma Gita to be very powerful and the direct knowledge. Somehow there is a feeling of closeness to yourself, when you read or listen to Atma Gita. I felt Guruji as Krishna. Only Lord Krishna, who gave the Uddhava Gita can make a translation like this and the feeling kept growing and there is an urge to read again. I believe Guruji has send this Gita to all of us to bring directly to the knowledge.

If you have not heard or read before, please go to online bookstore and have a copy for yourself...

May the divine, your own self, your guru bless you to be awake in the knowledge...

Love...

Jai Gurudev

"Pathi Vratha"

2008-12-27T12:16:00.000-08:00

Pathi-Vratha Dharma - One of the most debated aspects of Hindu Dharma. It is interpreted as the duty of the wife to be devoted to her husband, inspite of whatever he does. Feminists argue that this is not right. Every man wants a "Pathi Vratha" as his wife. However the true meaning of Pathi Vratha is different.

Pathi Vratha is most misunderstood concept. It is actually, not imposed upon the women as the society came to believe. But, it is rather a deeper single point devotion to the divine, which will help the person achieve the highest levels of spiritual enlightenment. In the case of Pathi Vratha, the image of God turned out to be the husband. It is very difficult for the normal human beings to get enlightened, by praying to unseen god. When you focus your attention 100% to one subject, your mind get so focused that it get cleared of all the mental impressions. Same logic as the devotion to God or to Guru. So whether a wife is Pathi Vratha or not is nothing to do with her husband. It is one of the ways to reach the divine, while integrating her family life with it. In that matter, it is easier for woman to achieve enlightnment through this method.

So in a way a true devotee is Pathi Vratha. His or her partner is God himself. He or she sees no other pleasure than the happiness and well being of God, which in turn means happiness and well being of the entire universe. In other words, that means selfless service to the humanity.

Are you a "Pathi Vratha"?...

Love Always...

Jai Gurudev

"I am not me"

2008-12-25T18:39:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been watching a TV serial about Lord Krishna temple in Guruvayoor. In one of the episode, Lord Krishna gave instruction to one of his devotees to imagine that "I am not me" and that is the end of all problems. If you don't contemplate, then these words does not mean anything.

But, the moment you start think about them, a subtle, deeper meaning will appear. " I am not me" - What does that mean? Who is "I am" and who is "me"? If you ponder over these questions, then some thing will become more clear. When does the thought or feeling "I am" arises? Since you woke up in the morning, till you go to sleep, there is always an underlying feeling that "I am", that I exist. This is a very strong feeling. Can you ever feel that you don't exist? In all the waking and dreaming consciousness, the feeling of I exist. Once the feeling "I am" arises and then comes the feeling "I am so & so" and the entire bondage follows. It is like a wearing a garment. Now, whom does that "I am" feeling comes to? There must be someone existing to have this feeling right? Countless people have said this and it is easy for you to see as well. All you need is the attention at the right place.

So the end point is that "I am" and "me" are not the same. " I am" is associated with all impressions and thoughts, but "me" is not that. So whatever happens in "I am" is not "me"...

Looks like crazy stuff..Right... :)

As Gurudev said "Rejoice without conflict - Conflict is only in the "I am" and not in "me". When you are with "me", there is no conflicts and only rejoice...

Love.....

Jai Gurudev

I belong to you

2008-12-06T16:45:00.000-08:00

All those who did the Art of Living Basic course knows what I have written as the heading of this post. You have been told to say "I belong to you" at the beginning of the course, when most of us hesitatingly said "I belong to you", either without any feeling or with a feeling of some amount of separation - Yes, that is true - For almost all of us, there was and is some amount of separation from every other being in this world. The urge to protect and save the "me" from every possible problem in the world.

So, after 6 days of Kriya and meditation, there appears a gap in our incessant thoughts and at those moments, we loose the identification with separation and when there is no feeling of separation, the belongingness appears. The point here is to understand or realize about the stories that continuously play out in the mind. Every action, even if it is knowledge or Seva, creates thoughts in OUR(A few lucky ones don't have this problem!!) mind. Thoughts are that create the separation. So to truly feel the belongingness, the thoughts has to come down. The more time you are in a thoughtless state, the more closer are you to the reality. The first step could be the awareness of thoughts arising in your mind, in a non-judgmental way. If you are able to keep your attention to the awareness, then the thought activity reduces and you will feel more acutely aware of yourself. At those moments of quietness, you are with yourself. I dont know what to say. All adjectives are from the memory of that quietness you have experience and can not convey the experience of queitness.

When you have experienced the queitness, then you have experienced the belonginess since at those moments, there is no one to say that " I am separate"

Love....

Victim and Guilt Consciousness

2008-11-26T19:48:00.000-08:00

I have been having an issue with a colleague of mine. Before he became my colleague, he was my friend and I knew him for a long time. He is a very nice person and we had a good relationship. However once he became my colleague, things started changing a little bit. There were a few issues that both of us felt that we were trying to get ahead of each other at work. There is this competitive spirit that was dampening our friendship. Over time, I felt my belief in him dropping and I finally start doubting his motive. Is he trying to push me aside? Is he trying to show that he is smarter etc etc.. The mind gets something and it gets hang on to it. So I started complaining that he is troubling me at work and was looking at everying he is doing. Gradually without me being aware, he started occuppying my mind, while I am at work. Once I leave the work, I am back to normal. I could not understand why this was happening.

Today it blew off. I asked him why he was behaving this way to me and he said, " No I am not behaving any special way to you". I came home and started looking at my mind. Then my wife reminded me about the course that I did with Rishiji. Suddently I remembered the course point Victim Consciousness - I was under the victim consciousness. I was feeling something wrong was done to me by my friend and others. The moment I became aware of the victim consciousness, I became free.

After I blew it off with him, I start feeling guilty and suddenly the realization that I am affected by guilty consciousness came upon me. That was very revealing. We all go through different events and many faces of the "I"ness appear in our mind. Being aware of these will help you go beyond the "I"ness. There are seven aspects of "I" ness. They are

Guilt consciousness
Victim consciousness
Attack consciousness
Blame consciousness
Defense consciousness
Aloof consciousness
Lack consciousness

May you be able to understand when these occur in your life and be able to go beyond them...

Love and Jai Gurudev

Guruji came to me.!!!

2008-11-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

When I think about it, I feel so grateful and feel blessed about Gurudev's grace. He is everything...He is inside and outside, every relationship is a reflection of his love....it is all HE...

Here is the story..Recently Gurudev was in Houston and I wanted to meet him. I was telling Gurudev to make it happen. So by first week of October I booked a ticket to Houston to visit him. My plan was to reach Houston by late evening of Oct 31. There was a Laxmi puja planned on Nov 1 and I thought I will spend some time attending the puja, doing some seva and may be an opportunity to meet Gurudev. However last week, I was told that the plan was changed and Gurudev will be leaving Houston by Saturday morning. I could not get vacation in such a short notice. Also, the tickets were proving to be very costly. So with a hesitant mind I cancelled my ticket. After cancelling the ticket, I went into my puja room and I could not resist my feelings. I started crying. I sat there for 15-20 minutes. Comnig back from the puja room, I send an email to Guruji asking as when can I meet him. Anyway I got back to my normal schedule. However, I keep looking if somehow I could get a ticket to go to Houston on friday early morning. That also did not work.

On Friday, I was thinking that if everything would have happened the way I planned I would have been in Houston with Gurudev. With that feeling I went to Bed. Normally I sleep peacefully, but I had a little disturbed sleep. Finally around 6.30 I saw a dream. I am at a place covered with snow(it looks like snow) and I am visiting a big house there. Coming out of that house, I was standing by the side of the road. Suddenly on the other side of the road Gurudev appears. I could not control myself. I ran to him and stood very close to him. I could feel him as close as my breath. He gave me a kiss on my forehead, the same way a father to his son. Then he told me " Hang on to Bhakthi, devotion. Everything will be fine". Then I asked him " Mind is going here and there". Gurudev said "It is ok" and then I woke up and it was around 7 Am.

It was so wonderful how Gurudev takes care of each one of us. He is with us in each moment. All you need is to let go everything and surrender for the most wonderful journey of life - The journey back home...

At this point, I can't say anything, just feel blessed and grateful for ever...for every thing....

Thoughts and Surrender

2008-10-31T18:14:00.000-07:00

I have heard and read quite a bit about surrender. Bhagavad Geetha talks about it. Pretty much every one you meet on the path or every book you read will tell you to surrender. I was wondering as what this surrender is. How to surrender has been the biggest problem. I think of surrendering and then imagine everything that I don't want to have and then tell to myself that I have surrendered. So I keep surrendering and nothing seems to happen. However I got into this belief that surrender and everything is done. Now you will be "successful" on your spiritual path. Some how this notion was in my head for quite some time...

Recently, I have been focusing attention on my thoughts and being aware of the thoughts that were arising in me. As I kept watching my thoughts and feelings, I could drop thinking much faster. For eg: you are arguing with some one. You always get a tendency to prove that you are right. For every word the other person says, you want to say something. It does not matter, whether you speak externally or internally, you want to speak. That is the ego trying to establish itself. May be I should not use the word ego. It is over used and complicated. Anyway, a feeling inside you don't want to stop. By luck or grace if you are able to suddenly become silent from inside when you are having an argument with someone, that is when you have surrendered. Every word you speak then will not touch you. It elevates you suddenly to a new level of comfort and peace. I now realize what it means to be surrendered - A thoughtless state....

May you all be able to truly surrender and feel the inner silence from which every word, both internal and external arises....

Love

Time or Timeless - Where is your attention ?

2008-10-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

I have been reading Eckahrt Tolle's book "the Power of Now" recently and I have also been listening to his various audio tapes. He keeps talking about the present moment as all encompassing field. I was contemplating about its and this is the understanding that came to my mind. (I dont claim whether it is right or wrong.).

So is the time a reality? OK, now read this carefully. Imagine that you are sitting in a train and the train has stopped at a station. In the next track there is another train. Sometimes, the other train starts moving and you feel that your train is moving. Have you observed this? Clearly the motion can happen only with respect to the motionless. If everything is moving, you wont feel the motion. It depends actually on your frame of reference. You wont feel that the earth is rotating, because everything on the earth is moving with it.

Similarly, instead of paying attention to the time, pay attention to the timeless. Imagine this way for simplicity. There is a timeless stage, which is the whole creation. In it every moment, new things appear and disappear. For everything forever in that stage, there is no change. Only new shows appear each moment and disappear. Everything that is coming to the stage feels the time because they will enter and exit. So the time is essentially due to the frame of reference. If you are in the unchanging stage, then no time exists. If your attention is on the things that are appearing and disappearing then time exists.

Well, I don't know this is true or false. But with a change in your attention you could also concur that this is a possibility. This is as much a possibility as the existence of time..

Have fun with all the knowledge....

We are even attached to the Spam!!!

2008-10-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

I had a Yahoo email address that I have created a long time ago. I was not regularly using that email account. I have signed into various websites with this account and as a result, have been getting a lot of emails (spam) into this account. Today morning, I was trying to delete all the emails. When I was trying to delete, my mind is keep saying - What if I need the emails. I could clearly see the difficulty in letting go and deleting. I was even attached to my spam emails. Then suddenly this reflection came upon the mind. This is exactly what happened to our minds. We get into this and that and then start getting spam ( really really unwanted impressions). As the nature of our mind is to cling on to whatever we get, it hang on to the spam. However, with the awareness you will be able to understand "Spam" as spam and delete them from your mailbox forever. Once you delete the spam, your mailbox(mind) is clear and can now see things as they are...

One more mistake I was making was not deleting the spam as they arrive. That means, in your path, identify impressions as impressions and remove them on a daily basis so that you are not adding new impressions to your mind. If you are committed on the path of truth, you need to remove all the impressions from your mind. So don't hang onto the spam and delete them on a daily basis. Your Guru(whomever it is) has already given you enough tools. You only need to use them. No need for newer and more tools. All you need is one delete button. Two delete buttons, even though it look fancy, not needed. Additionally, you will get attached to the delete button, rather than using it...

When are you deleting spam from your mail box..ha..ha....

Dealing with Ambitions

2008-09-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

I remain centered since I came back from Guru poornima advanced course with Guruji. Today, a part of the work that I was supposed to do was given to another person. Immediate reaction - go into defense. Let the other guy do whatever he wants to do. I have nothing to give or take. However, one good thing is that along with that feeling, the awareness of the feeling arose in the mind. The feeling did not remain for long in the mind. There is less desire to cling on to the situation or defend oneself. The feelings and emotions dropped much easily than what it used to be.

Even though we are on the path, the old habits and impressions die hard. One needs to understand this and should be able to observe the mind and drop the feelings and emotions. Let the thoughts and emotions rise and fall. It is when things go wrong, things are not the way you want them to be, that you need to be in the knowledge. In order to live the knowledge one has to follow the path with sincerity and utmost devotion. Yoga Vasishata says that there are 4 qualities that will help an aspirant in the path. They are Self control, Self inquiry, Contentment and Satsang...

May you able to grow beyond the feelings and thoughts that arise in the mind and see the truth beyond the mind...

Love and Jai Gurudev

Thank you Every one....

2008-09-26T19:41:00.001-07:00

For a while, I was having a smooth life. Goody goody with everyone and everyone agrees with whatever I say. So you feel good from inside and the expansion feeling happening. Today, after a while I happened to see the other side - Some one criticize you and the way your mind reacts. It is a true progress report as where I stand in my spiritual path. Thank you Gurudev for the feedback.

So here is the story. I met Yogadhi during Gurupoornima advanced course. It was keep coming to my mind that I should meet him again. I don't know why, but there was an intutive direction to meet him. So one day, I send an email to him asking whether I can come down to Denver to meet him. He said, he is coming to Seattle and asked me whether I can arrange for a Book Signing session. (He wrote a book about his spiritual experiences). I said OK with half mind. Then I called him two days later to talk to him about this. However, that conversatoin was short and I kind of left it. However, someone inside was keep telling me that you got to meet him. So one fine morning, I got up from my bed and told Gurudev(I have a picture of Gurudev right on the side of my bed. So I wake up every morning seeing my Guru) to do whatever he wants. Sameday evening Yogadhi called me and left a voice message. Again, I was not sure what to do, but decided that I keep my mind open and acceptive to whatever happens.

In next 2 days, I found a room for his session, made some posters and send a couple of emails. One to the Yoga and Meditation mailing list at my work and the other to the local devotee mailing list. The first mail was a disaster. Mails were going left and write about the authenticity of Gurus to many many things. Normally, I would have felt bad and would have reacted. But, I could see a part of my mind standing apart and was accepting everything as it is. On oneside, I felt bad that people are not able to understand the deeper meaning of life and oneness, while on the other side I remain unaffected. It was not a defensive acceptance that people are like this also. I deep acceptance, where there is no judgement, no enimity, no hate, but just pure love. I could see a part of mind want to react, but other part could just observe the feelings and in that moment all the reactions melted away.

Next came from the local satsang email list. One of the ladies nicely (Thank you for being so nice to me) remind me that the email list is only for certain purpose and I should refrain from posting on the local email list. Actually, I wrote a personal email to everyone and it was in the draft folder. As fate would have it, in a moment I absent mindedly send the email to the yahoo group distribution list. So when her mail came, my egoistic mind trying to jump up and down. So it was a nice experience to watch what happens. First the mind said, how could she say that. Then it was trying to find out instances where others have posted other materials to the mailing list and then anger and finally the egoistic mind just gave up. At that moment I felt a deeper level of peace and gratitude to everyone and especially to those who have made me grow beyond the mental impressions...

Thank you every one...because of you I am in love....

Jai Gurudev

Living the Present Moment - Part II

2008-09-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

I continued to think about what does it mean to live in the present moment. The more you contemplate, the more clearer is the meaning. Once you see the deeper meaning, you will appreciate what Gurudev meant by that. When you start living at that level, living in the present moment alone is sufficient. It occurred to me today that Surrender is the same as living in the present moment. Bhagavad Geetha talks about surrender. Truly, surrender is nothing but accepting what is. Realizing that every thing is as it is. In other words the same as living the present moment. In short all the knowledge points lead you to the one - A world beyond mind. Can it be comprehend ? I don't know. Really, I don't know anything, but I feel happy and Grateful that I am on this path.

Another thing that came to my mind today. I don't know where I heard this - Whenever someone tells you knowledge and you get the feeling that I know it, then the knowledge is in your intellect, if not then you have grown in knowledge. I have seen this happening in me and people around me.

Today, while traveling on the bus, I was feeling very grateful to Gurudev. He has so beautifully brought together everything to help us on the path. Truly, it is so amazing and I can't be grateful enough for everything he has done. The more I think about it, the more I realize how wonderfully everything has been taken care. Gurudev, I can't wait any more...

Living the Present Moment

2008-09-14T22:35:00.000-07:00

During my meditation today, I was trying to understand the reason for a low, subtle level of uneasiness. I remain as happy and cheerful as I am. However, in meditation, I could see a low level of uneasiness, which is preventing me to go to the next level and experience the true happiness. I think inside most of us, even though are living happily, there is a subtle uneasiness. Eckhart Tolle talk about this in his book " The Power of now" and I could clearly see this deep inside me.

That moment there was an understanding that to be truly live in the present moment, you can't have even the slightest of the desire. The moment the desire comes, there is already a non acceptance of what is. In complete acceptance of what is, there is no desires. When there is no desires, one can truly be in the present moment and that will bring the true happiness. As Gurudev says in the Ashtavakra, that will be "Rejoicing without conflict"...

May divine bless you to be truly happy and Rejoice without conflict....

Love

Jai Gurudev

Moha - When are you going to get out of it?

2008-08-24T16:54:00.000-07:00

Recently one of our friends needed a computer. We had two laptop computers at home. One new one and another refurbished one. The refurbished one did not have a battery. Reshmi told our friends that they can have one of our computers till they get theirs fixed. She told them that they can have the new one. She made this decision (and I am proud of her decision to help others) and called me to tell about this. Immediately my mind started feeling something. We bought the computer recently. I observed my mind and I could see the Moha (Attachment) to the computer. I was astonished by seeing this. We get attached to so many things in our life. When we pay close attention to our mind, we can clearly see that. Attachment is not only to the spouse and Kids - it can happen to anythings in our life. The point is to clearly identify the attachment and then surrender them to the divine.

Take a moment to identify the attachments - the BMW, the House, the family, the job, your bank balance, even aol, and many more. Open your eyes and see the attachments and then use the technique Rishiji taught to drop them..

May the divine bless all of us to overcome our attachments and remain centered in the knowledge all the time.

Love and Jai Gurudev

Attention

2008-08-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

One thing that I have been noticing recently is about attention. When we pay attention to our mind, we can see the thoughts and feelings dropping and an awareness of the thoughts and the feelings happening. The more attention you pay, the more calmer the mind becomes and in that calmness you will see an inner silence. It is so simple to feel that inner silence. All you need is to pay close attention and be careful enough so that you wont be fooled by your mind and thoughts. Almost always our attention is on the things - whether physical or mind made and never really to the self. Once you put some effort to focus your attention on yourself, then you will see a silence arising in you. I really don't know what it is. But that silence brings an inner peace, a peaceful state without any conflicts.

Almost always throughout my life I had this inner uneasiness, even when everything was going right for me. Worrying as when things are going to turn upside down. When I started noticing the silence the uneasiness is gradually easing. This uneasiness so subtle that I started realizing more about it after I became aware of the silence. Another way to get this silence is keep listening to the silence. How do you listen to silence? Try this experience. Put your music player in a very high volume for sometime and then suddenly put it off. You will notice a momentary gap in thoughts and a silence. Just pay attention to this silence and you can see the peaceful silence spreading within you also. I don't know what all this means. But one thing I know is that there is a peaceful state, which everyone can attain without much trouble.

May you find your inner peace and be with that always...

Love

Jai Gurudev

Being Truthful

2008-08-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

I was listening to the Ashtavakra Geetha and the thought about truth came to my mind. Often we commit or tell people that we will do some thing and later when someone ask about it, we will try and give excuses. I realized that almost always these excuses are pure lies. If I am really serious about my path, then I have to be truthful - Really really truthful. Giving justifications, more often that not are lies. Have you thought about this point? If you consider lying as acceptable, then I have nothing to tell you. However my dear friends on the path, being truthful is not an option, but a requirement. Whom are you lying to? Some one else? Your own self?

We often think the end justifies the means. But, that is not the case. In reality there is no tomorrow, only the present. When you look from that perspective, how can the end justify the means? Sometimes people lie, because they don't want to face the situations - Remember the part I knowledge point - accept people and situations as they are. When you have really grown, then you have no issues in telling the truth and accepting the results as it is - without any issues whatsoever.

If you watch your mind, more often than not, you will find that your mind is always trying to find justifications for your actions - I found myself using knowledge for this many a times, till I was able to identify this mental self-justification and distance myself from that. One of the most important thing is to keep a watch on your mind. The more watchful you are, the more clarity you will find about the working of the mind. Sometimes these findings are painful, sometimes the mind will rebel. However once you are able to cut through and see the tantrums of mind, your job is half done.

So take the first step, have courage to be truthful. That will bring you closer to the truth.

Let you have the company of truth always...

Love

Jai Gurudev

Human Mind

2008-08-09T09:10:00.000-07:00

This Story is provided by Ananta Ahluwalia from Everett, WA

An emperor was coming out of his palace for his morning walk when he
met a beggar. He asked the beggar, "What do you want?"The beggar
laughed and said, "You are asking me as though you can fulfill my
desire!"

The king was offended. He said, "Of course I can fulfill your
desire. What is it? Just tell me."

And the beggar said, "Think twice before you promise anything."

The beggar was no ordinary beggar, he was the emporers past life
master. He had promised in that life, "I will come and try to wake
you in your next life. This life you have missed but I will come
again." But the king had forgotten completely -- who remembers past
lives? So he insisted, "I will fulfill anything you ask. I am a very
powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I can not give
to you?"

The beggar said, "It is a very simple desire. You see this begging
bowl? Can you fill it with something?"

The emperor said, "Of course!" He called one of his viziers and told
him, "Fill this mans begging bowl with money." The vizier went and
got some money and poured it into the bowl, and it disappeared. And
he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would
disappear. And the beggging bowl remained always empty.

The whole palace gathered. By and by the rumour went throughout the
whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the
emperor was at stake..

He said to his viziers, "If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to
lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar."

Diamonds and pearls and emeralds, his treasuries were becoming
empty.The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was
put into it --everything! --immediately disappeared, went out of
existence. Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing
there in utter silence. The king dropped at the feet of the beggar
and admitted his defeat. he said, "Just tell me one thing. You are
victorious - but before you leave, just fulfill my curiousity. What
is the begging bowl made of?"

The beggar laughed and said, "It is made up of the human mind. There
is no secret. It is simple made up of human desire."

This understanding transforms life. Go into one desire -- what is
the mechanism of it? First there is a great excitement, great
thrill, adventure. you feel a great kick. Something is going to
happen, you are on the verge of it. And then you have the car, you
have the yacht, you have the house, you have the woman, and suddenly
all is meaningless again.

What happens? Your mind has dematerialised it. The car is standing
in the drive, but there is no excitement anymore. The excitement was
only in getting it. You became so drunk with the desire that you
forgot your inner nothingness. Now the desire is fulfilled, the car
in the drive, the woman in your bed, the money in your bank account -
again excitement disappears. Again the emptiness is there, ready to
eat you up. Again you have to create another desire to escape this
yawning abyss.

That's how one moves from one desire to another desire. That's how
one remains a beggar. Your whole life proves it again and again --
every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will
need another desire.The day you understand that desire as such is
going to fail comes the turning point in your life. The other
journey is inwards. move inwards, come back
home.......................

... As is the mind, So is the Man The Supreme Truth

Guru Poornima Part III

2008-07-25T18:19:00.000-07:00

Some one asked me as what was the book that I mentioned in the prior posting and what were the specific learning. The book is "Secret Journey to The Enlightened Mind" by Dr James Weldon - Rishi Yogadhi Pragya. The Forward to the book is written by our beloved Guruji. This book explains how Guruji has taken him to the depth of oneness with Gurudev and the greatness of Guruji. I dont think I can read more than a few pages. They convey the very depth of our existence.

During the course, I was having a severe backache and I could not even sleep. So on Wednesday morning I put a note in the botherations basket. I was also very worried about the drive back. This is the first time we were driving such a long distance and hence I was concerned. So put both of these botherations in the basket. I put it in @ 8.30 AM on wednesday. When I came back for meditations at 10.00 am, I noticed that my backache disappears the moment I sit in Meditation. When I get out of the meditation hall, the back ache was back. But, it was manageable. Slowly, the concern about driving went away from heart and I felt more relaxed.

Finally the course is over and we stayed for another day at the same Hotel. I wanted to drive via US 101 to see the Oregon cost. This was my wish for quite sometime and Reshmi and I decided that we will drive via 101. On saturday, we went to a water park in San Francisco. Once we got back to the room in the evening, I suddenly started feeling that we should go straight back to Seattle via I-5. This feeling grew strong and on sunday morning we decided to drive back via I-5.

We started from the Hotel around 9.30 Am. We knew that Guruji is at Walnut Creek, one hour drive from SanJose. However we did not know where Guruji is staying or where the Teachers Refresher Meet was. Anyhow, while driving we decided that we will take Walnut Creek exit and look around and see if we could find Gurudev. We spend approx 15-20 minutes, looking for Gurudev. We were thinking Gurudev must be staying with some devotees and we were just driving around the residential areas. However, we could not find any art of living cars or Gurudev. So after 20 minutes or so, we decided to go back. We thought, Guruji knew that we were there and if he wants to meet us, it will happen. Finally, we decided to take I-680. I silently prayed to Gurudev for his blessings.

We got into I-680 and started driving north. After 15 minutes, David called us. We told him that we want to meet Gurudev and whether he knows where Guruji is. David told us that Gurudev is staying at Hotel Marriot, Walnut Creek. We immediately turned back and drove to the hotel. We reached the hotel around 11.30 am. We saw a board mentioning that the art of living program is going on in the B1 level ball room. We went to B1 level and there were some volunteers. However they did not tell anything about Gurudev. Finally I decided that we will sit in front of the elevator. I started meditating and my heart was longing for Gurudev. After around 45 minutes, Reshmi told me that there is no point in waiting and let us go. I told her, let us wait for 15 minutes more. Then suddenly the elevator door opened, Gurudev appeared. He just looked at me and asked " How are you"...I am completely in tears, but I could hear my heart saying, thank you Gurudev. What to say....Gurudev is just amazing and I am full of gratitude for everything he has done for us..

My dear ones (truly you are all part of me and not separate) please commit yourself in the path. That is your journey back home and Gurudev is taking you....

With lots of love

Jai Gurudev
Seeker

Guru Poornima Part II

2008-07-23T21:13:00.000-07:00

Finally, we decided to drive from Seattle to San Francisco. Our daughter normally can not sit in the car for long time. Normally she gets car sick or keep asking as when we are going to get to the destination. But this time around, she was unusually quite. I am really surprised by her behavior. We reached the hotel on Sunday night and checked into the hotel.

The course started next day morning. It started like just another course. My feverishness has come down, however questions still keep coming up. This time around, I am completely aware of the hollow and empty meditations. I don't really know what does it mean. However, I just kept up with the instructions. Satsangs in the evenings where really great. One song particularly went deep inside me was " Guru Kripa Karo, Guru Kripa Karo". I found this song keep coming up from inside.

The course went on. On Thursday evening I wrote a mail to Guruji at around 6:00 PM and asked him a very personal question. The question was very specifically about a subject and I felt that I am 100% committed to that question and then I forgot about the question. Then we went to dinner and at around 8 PM, we were waiting outside the main Satsang hall. There were a lot of people waiting to get into the satsang hall. Due to some unforeseen force, I moved to a corner. There, I found a person selling a book. I did not know who the person was. I just asked him whether he was the author and he said yes. There was another lady, who also bought a copy of the same book. Suddenly I bought a copy and the lady then told me to get it autographed. I did not know who he was and hesitatingly I asked him to autograph my copy. He gently open the book and wrote " Our Guru is the greatest" - Yogadhi. I did not know who is Yogadhi. I kept the book in my wife's bag and we went inside for Satsang.

In the evening, once we got to the room, I opened the book and started reading randomly and there, answer to my questions appeared out of nowhere. It talked about the enlightened beings of very high level, who takes the body merely for the benefit of the manifested universe and his experiences made me suddenly connected to him and Guruji as well. Something was happening in my mind. Every line I read in that book brought me closer to Gurudev. In that night, I could not sleep properly. The song " Guru Kripa karo", keeps coming back to my heart and sometime later I went into sleep. I woke up at 3 AM and I could not sleep. The song was keep coming back to my heart and I meditated for some time. Due to some reason, I have not been going deeper into the meditations. But, I completely accepted that situation.

It was Gurupoorinma. Earlier on thursday, I send another email to Guruji asking him as why he is not talking to me. So I was sitting there waiting for Guruji to arrive. Everytime, I see Gurudev, I am filled with tears and this time around also the same thing happens. However, this time, he stopped by me and asked "Are you happy"? Oh man, I was waiting for this...

Then we went to Gurupoornima satsang and I was enjoying the satsang. So while in the satsang, I saw Rishi Yogadhi Pragya at the other end of the room. I wanted to ask him some questions and thought, if he happened to come close to me, then I will ask the question and then I forgot about that. Satsang got over, everybody went their own way. I was on the hotel lobby and talking to David and Ani and suddenly Yogadhi appeared infront of me as if he just came to answer my question. I could not control my tears - Gurudev is taking care of each step and Yogadhi's words filled my heart with the re-assurance about my spiritual path. And to my question, he clearly directed me as what I should be doing...We find many gurus on our path based on where we stand and Yogadhi was send by Gurudev to guide me at this occasion. And once again, I felt so grateful to have such a wonderful Guru and I immediately send a thank you note to Gurudev. Gurudev, dont need my thankyou note, but I could not prevent myself from doing that..

One humble requests to my friends on the path - Our Guru is the greatest and this is your opportunity to get ahead in spiritual life and realize the oneness with him....

To be continued...

Love

and Jai Gurudev

GuruPoornima 2008 - Part I

2008-07-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

Guru Poornima 2008 was one of the most amazing experiences that I had with Gurudev. I have booked my tickets for Guru Poornima, way back in March 2008, including my air line tickets. At that time, we were unaware of Gurudev's visit to Seattle just before Guru Poornima and hence we were planning to leave Seattle on 7/11, spend couple of days seeing San Francisco before heading to the course. When I came to know about Gurudev's trip, we moved our Seattle - San Francisco ticket to Sat(7/12) morning, thinking that Guruji will be leaving Seattle early in the morning on Saturday(7/12).

So time went by, Guruji came to Seattle and a lot of people were doing a lot of Seva. I can not say that I have done as much seva as I could have done. I don't know what happened, as Gurudev's visit approached, I was feeling more feverish, grumpy and getting irritated like never before. My mind was getting filled with all kinds of questions(questions will arise only when there is no inner silence), doubts and concerns. There was a volunteer meeting with Anandji. Though I went to the meeting, I was neither open nor cooperating and was not in the "Yes" frame of mind. I was keep questioning the methods of Anandji in my mind, asking why all this. Why all this show ( I literally felt that these were all show. My biggest question was why Seva is required for spiritual growth). When Anandaji mentioned that Gurudev has said " if you do my work, I will take care of your work?", I have started questioning everything. How can Guruji, the ocean of love could possibly say that? This is like you have been hired to do something. I strongly resisted the statement. I and my wife had a conversation about it and I said if doing seva is to get some benefit back from Guruji, it is like doing any other job and this question remained unanswered. So with that Grumpiness, I did not join the other folks in the boat trip with Anandji.

Then came Rishiji. I was resisting to sign up for the course with him, keep asking why the need for more courses? Why people are running behind all these courses? Has not it become like seeking material things? However, some unknown force (who else, other than Gurudev) made me signup, even without me being aware of it. Even at the course venue, I was not feeling the connectedness with Rishiji. So I sat there with closed eyes and Rishiji has to ask me to open the eyes and listen. However, I went through the course, without much trouble and the learnings were incredible.

Then came Gurudev's visit. My grumpiness and feverishness were not seeing any reduction at all. Reshmi (my wife) was in the cooking team for Gurudev and I started getting irritated with her. But some how, she managed to keep her cool. Finally on the day of the event, I again got upset with my wife for something and that made my mind go into much more disturbance. So, after getting irritated so much, I sat outside the event room, while Guruji was inside. I did not go in till the end and then Gurudev left in 5 minute. While sitting outside, I could observe the emotions and feverishness rising in my mind and I could see that I am separate from the feelings. Nevertheless, I sat outside, closing my eyes ( I don't know whether it can be called meditation), but something was going on inside. As soon as the event got over, we head out to pick up Drishya and then went home to pack for the morning flight.

So on Sat morning, we were trying to find someone to drop us to the airport and surprisingly none of the people we called were available. So finally, I decided to drop the car at the airport and then fly out. Also, Guruji has never talked to me in the past. Even when a few of us (6-7 people) were with him at the San Francisco airport. When I was about to ask him something, he said not now and he kept talking to others. And also in the previous few occasions, I felt Gurudev has been avoiding me. Even accidentally, his eyes never reached me. So I was having this question - Am I at the right place? I have read a little bit about spirituality and thought that I might be having another Guru.

Ok, now continuing with the story, while we were heading to the airport, we got two messages that Guruji is meeting all the volunteers at 9.00 am. Our flight is at 9.30 AM and we could no way meet him. My heart start feeling something and we felt that if we were driving to San Francisco like many others, we could have made to this meeting. Finally we went to the airport and I started web-check in and there is the first surprise - it says, you can not check in. So I went to the counter and they said that the flight I was booked on was canceled and I can wait for a standby in the later flights. At that time, someone inside told me that Gurudev wants you back at the meeting and so rush back. We got our tickets canceled immediately, took our car back and rushed to the hotel. (We got full re-fund for the tickets and no money was charged by the parking) By now it is already 9.10 and we were praying that meeting to last till we reach there. Finally we reached the Hotel at 10 AM and the meeting was not started yet. I felt deep inside me that Gurudev has called me back from the airport to show that he cared for me. I could not resist myself any more. All my grumpiness, feverishness and irritations just vanished in a moment. Tears were flowing through my eyes like anything. And on that day, for the first time, I felt Gurudev looked at me with his physical eyes and all my resistances melted away.

To be continued....

Life's purpose

2008-05-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

What is the purpose of this life? Has anyone ever thought about this seriously? We keep asking what you want to do in your life. And always we come up with some thing to achieve in the future. And one day, the body falls away. That is inevitable. The body will die one day, whatever you do. Whether you are Bill Gates or George Bush, you will die one day and the world will keep moving. So how does it matter what you achieve in the eye of the world?

This is a question every one should ask themselves. To know the purpose of the life, first one has to understand one self. Who is me or I? Is there anything beyond stories? To most of us life is but the clutter that is going on in our minds. If there is a loud speaker connected to our brain, then it will go on... non stop forever, not even in the sleep.

When the stories stop there is calmness - No expectations, no desires, no hopes, no fears. Many people must have experienced this calmness once in a while, but it did not continue due to lack of attention. If you start observing the stories and truthful to the core, the stories will start to fade away. With the stories going away one will feel the peace appearing more frequently. At that time, there is no desire and no wants. If a desire arises, there is a witnessing of that desire. Sometimes, there is a momentum and the body moves to execute that desire. Some other times, the desires falls away. Whether the desire is fulfilled or not, it does not make any difference. The only person to whom it makes any difference is an imaginary character and hence events and desires wont affect anyone.

All you need to do is to calm the mind, so that silence can be felt in the back ground. You need to shift the attention from the experience (or imagination) to the experiencer. Whatever you hear, read, do are to reduce the noise so that you can hear the silence. The actions themselves wont take you to the silence. Reducing the noise will make the silence come out

What is real and what is unreal

2008-05-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

I was pondering over the thought as what is real...Can you say for sure what is real? Everything you see is nothing but the images or stories rising in your awareness. Real should be able to stand without the support of anything. But, the world as we see is nothing but an appearance in the awareness. I dont know whether anything really exists. And we take the images for real and run behind them. So funny. Everything, you see is images. Whether you are in materiasltic world or spiritual world.

I beg you to stop for moment - Think and contemplate about the real, about the truth, about things beyond the senses. Is there anything at all? All experiences are in the awareness. So whatever be the experience, it doesnot matter, whether spiritual or materialistic. What matters is whether you get stuck up with the stories. My dear friends, when will you see beyond the stories. I dont know what is beyond the images and stories. But, atleast I know that these are mere stories and images. They exist as a passing images in the awareness. Beyond that I dont know anything. Now I am realizing that I know absolutely nothing..

When you see clearly that things exists in the awareness, the course(AOL basic course) knowledge points happen automatically. Will you accept or reject images that merely appearing in the screen? You just look at them with curiosity and things will pass. Think that you are watching a movie. There are different stories and characters playing out in the screen. You know that it is a movie. Sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cry, sometimes you remain indifferent - but at notime you are going to get stuckup. You just flow with the story. Once the story ends, you just walk out. Dont you? So, life is like that. The problem is when you get stuck up...So please dont get stuck up....

Jai Gurudev

Objective World

2008-04-30T22:27:00.000-07:00

Is the objective world a true reality? Whatever we see, hear, feel can be true? Let us take one example. I am seeing a person - Now what am I seeing? If I have the ability to see the blood and bones with my naked eyes, what will be my impressions about the person? My idea about that person or body will be different. Right? If I could see electrons with my eyes, my idea about the object will still be different. So essentially the objective reality that we understand through our senses are faulty. Then what is the reality? It becomes pretty hard to understand as what really out there. If I am not aware, is there anything out there? If you flip this question, then everything is in your consciousness. Whatever you feel, see, hear - is nothing but an expression of yourself or your consciousness. Now, one can use different names - it does not matter.

The moment one realizes that the whole world is nothing but an expression of your consciousness, then total acceptance happens. There are still ups and downs, pleasure and pains. But, acceptance and tolerance happens. Memories of the pleasure and pain still play out. But, there is an understanding that the forms, feelings etc are essentially in your consciousness.

Thoughts happen, actions happen, events happen. But, they all happen in you. Outside of you nothing happens. If you have a Guru, then Guru happens in you. If you have a spouse, the spouse happens in you. Look at the space. Between the planets, between the objects, what is there? Every object is in space. Similarly, every thought is in consciousness. We don't allow thoughts to cease and hence we don't see on what background the thoughts arise. If the whole space is filled with matter, we don't see space. If we separate the objects, then the space fills the void. Similarly, if we separate the thoughts, then the consciousness fills that space....ha..ha.....

Jai Gurudev...

Part I Course - The ultimate teaching

2008-01-12T13:22:00.000-08:00

Jai Gurudev,

I did art of living basic(part I) course back in April 2005. Since then life in the path has been with full of new learnings. Or de-learning. Whichever way you call it. Or awakening from the sleep.

The part I course provides 5 key learning points. And those 5 learning points are so beautiful, it includes the entire learning you ever need. There is nothing beyond that. All other learnings or knowledge is the expansion of the 5 learning points. I did not realize the depth of that knowledge till I went around, reading and searching to know what the truth is. Let us take one of the course learning points - Accept people and situations as they are. What a powerful knowledge point. The depth of this knowledge point is so deep, one needs to cotemplate to understand the deeper meaning of what it truly means. I was listening to the video "Enormous Power of Yes" by Eckahrt Tolle. On outside they dont seem one. But when you think deeper, what does accept people and situations as they are mean? That is to say yes. Not opposing and reacting to the situations. When you wont react? When you dont exist. So accepting people and situations as they are means - that you dont exist. That is the true acceptance.

The moment you say no, whether you are right or wrong, as Eckart Tolle says in this video, you are indeed strengthening the "I"- because when you say no, there is a separate you exist- A feeling that I know more than you - That strengthens the feeling of ego. The moment you dont react, you wont exist. When you wont exsit, then what? - The total acceptance happens. I think this is a very small extension the course point that Gurudev teaches us through part I course.

May the Lord ultimate, the universal power of creation bless you to know the real truth as who you are.

Jai Gurudev

2007-11-04T14:33:00.000-08:00

Jai Gurudev

Just stop for a moment and think. What is the purpose of this life? So many millions of years have passed and so many millions of years will pass also. And where does your life will fit in this? It is nothing but a very tiny element in the whole creation and why do you bother so much about the petty things? Live in Peace....

The whole world, is but an expression of our own mind. I have read this sentence many times. Initially it did not make any sense. As I went over it again and again, it became clearer and clearer. Our world is nothing but projection of our mental impressions. For eg: We call a person a friend. It is the mental impression that he is my friend, make him my friend. It has nothing to do with who or what he is. When we contemplate on this, it becomes clear - That the world is truly a projection of our own mind. When the mind is pure and clear of mental impressions, then we see the world as it is - Without modifications as mine and yours, friends and foes, good and bad. When we see that, what is there to desire, what is there to oppose? Everything is as it is. Nothing to be obtained and nothing to be declined. Unless we take the courage to understand this, contemplate on the knowledge and wants to go beyond the impressions, we will remain slave to our ever chaning mind. The lure of the senses is too much to understand this and go beyond the impressions. It takes courage to see the trurth and abide in it.

So take the courage to contemplate the knowledge that you have already heard!!!

Some random thoughts

2007-08-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have posted something. I was quite busy for the last few weeks and did not get much time to spend on the blog. Meanwhile, I was reading a book by Nisargadatta Maharaj on the eternal.

I was reading and then thinking through who am I? When and where did this I came into existence. I dont know the answer. The more I think about this, the more I realize that I am different from the stories going on. " I am" is the feeling that is present all the time. During the waking and dreaming states. But after "I am" every other feeling or thought that you come across is transitory. It is a play. I am is permanent and that is the first thought that arises when you gets up from sleep. But before "I am", what is the state? Who am I at that state? I cant say that I dont exist. Because such a statement itself make it clear that I exist. But before the "I am" feeling, in what state I exist?

When did this "I am" feeling came into existence? Was it gradual ? Was it at birth? I ponder over the statement that I heard on a CD - "Awareness wakes into consciounsess". Is that true? May be. There is the awareness, when you are sleeping. But no "I" feeling. What happens to the whole world, universe and everything when you go to bed? Someone takes away all that? They are still there somewhere. What happens when we gets up?

Reaching conclusion or having an idea itself is absurd. Because everything you think or feel and or understand is after the "I am" thought. My goal is to understand my state prior to the "I am".

Jai Gurudev

Guru Poornima

2007-07-31T21:32:00.000-07:00

I was at the Gurupoornima celebrations of Art of Living in California. Every moment you get to spend with an Enlightened master is very precious and Guruji was at his best. His words were full of compassion, love and grace. Words can not convey the experience. You have to be there. For all those, who could not make it this time, please try to make it next year. Nothing in life is worth more than being with Guruji on Gurupoornima day.

There were more than 1300 people in the advance course and the experiences were just amazing. Many people had amazing healing experiences - Both physical and mental. Meditations were so deep and profound, that they bring you to who you are. At the emptiness, you know the depth of life and joy. It is in the silence that things happen. Words are really futile...

And the songs by Bhanu didi and Rishiji would take you to another world. Some gems of knowledge came out of Guruji. One of them was that there are 5 prana's in one's body and sudarshan Kriya is the only technique that balances all the 5 pranas.

Guruji's words that when you go to bed, be aware that you are covered with a blanket of grace, love and blessings, really make you feel his presence all the time with you.

Jai Gurudev

Aware of the electricity

2007-06-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

Just open your eyes and see the truth. Stop getting deceived by stories and images. See what is truth and what is imgination.

One analogy that I like is that of electricity. The same electricity powers various eletrical and electronic instruments. It appears as light in a bulb, as images in a TV, a program in a computer. God or the universe is the electricity in the various instruments, that are our bodies. When we stop identifying ourselves as the instruments, we see the eletricity and with that comes a deeper understanding of our life.

What happens when we see ourselves as the electricity? We stop bothering too much about instruments. Whatever to be done with the instruments will be done and then the instrument gets destroyed. However the electricity remains.

Be aware of the electricity and be...

Jai gurudev

Trying to get somewhere

2007-06-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

We always believe in hardwork. Or rather that is what we have been told. Work with an end in sight. I am noticing that this approach to life is getting spilled over to our spiritual life as well. I have seen myself trying to get somewhere in the spiritual life. However I am realizing that, you can't get any where in spiritual life, because the goal of spiritual life is the end of yourself. So how can you have a spiritual life.

I have been trying to meditate. Using mantra in the sahaj samadhi meditation. Using mantra I was trying to get deeper into the meditation. Yesterday when I was trying to meditate, there was this question - Who is that trying to meditate? I am trying to meditate. Whenver there is effort, the effort comes from the person. And that means there is separation. Goal of the meditation is to end the separation. So just be, and drop everything else. For that matter, we dont have anything to drop. Just realizing that we dont have anything to drop, we get into meditation.

I started writing this blog. But, now-a-days I dont feel like even writing. Who is writing and what is there to write? Words and sentences are outside of me.

Living On Experiences

2007-06-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

Now-a-days, we feel the presence of Gurudev with us all the time. All it take is to just tell Gurudev. His grace is beyond explanation. There are a couple of incidents happened in the last couple of days.

The first one happened on 6/1. June 1 is the samadhi day of my grandfather and I wanted to do a Gurupooja and Bhajans at our house. However, there was a conference call scheduled for that day at 8 PM and hence I did not plan for a Satsang. However, somehow the conference call was cancelled on the morning of 6/1 and we had a satsang in the evening. The satsang was very good.

Second incident happened on 6/2. We went for movie. After the movie all the mallu group were going for some party. We are normally not invited especially since we are not part of the "group". I am fine with either way. However, my daughter, who is 6 years old wanted to go for the party so that she could play with her friends. When she asked me as why we were not going for the party, I felt a little sad. My wife was especially upset. So we were sitting in the car and discussing as how to balance our spiritual life and social life and at one point I told my wife - Tell Guruji and he will take care.

We continued to sit in the car for 5 more minutes and there was a call from a friend of mine. He called us to invite us for the party. Apologized for not inviting us earlier and insisted that we come for the party. I immediately opened my phone, looked at the picture of Gurudev and said "Thank you Guruji". We went to the party. Though I was at the party, I was feeling the presence of Gurudev everywhere. He is right here, right now. Feel his presence and the blessings. That is it...

Jai Gurudev

Why So much for the courses?

2007-05-29T22:28:00.000-07:00

Good morning. I am sure the heading must have raised two kind of response. One set must be thinking - Who are you to question it? Guruji decides everything. Some of them have the same question at the back of their minds. In the path, it is important to clear the doubts so that you can have the 100% faith in the Guru and the Path.

The other set feels that there is some one who is agreeing with their view point.

First of all, I know that Guruji will do only the best thing for every one. For that matter, he is with us and how can he do anything that is not good for us? There are a couple of ways paying money for the courses that helps the devotees.

1. What is the mantra for dispassion? What is that we are most attached? Name it? - Is not money one of the most important? By offering and paying for the spiritual courses, we are actually able to give up, what our mind foolishly assumes as ours. So it is a good way for us to let go off our attachments to money. Donating money to temple, Charity etc are done with this understanding. The divine mother who is feeding the entire universe needs "your" money to support her activities? Since when you started having your own that IS SEPARATE FROM THE UNIVERSE? IF you have done the DSN, remember the freedom. See yourself right now. Can you exist separate from the universe?

2. What is the biggest impediment to our spiritual growth - One could possibly say it is ego. Because, if there is no ego, then there is no spiritual growth, no bondage and nothing. So when you try to bring people into taking courses, you are actually clearing your ego as well. The harder the task, bigger the understanding that " I am not the doer". However, one need to be committed to the path and have the unwavering faith in what Guru says.

3. By paying higher amount, you are actually paying off some of your Karmic Debts. Gurudev, who is the embodiment of Love, is indirectly and directly taking care all of us. How this happens is when you pay more, the money is actually spend for good causes - Includes supporting and feeding poor children, expenses for Art of Living teachers etc. Imagine, the money that you paid actually spend for Guruji's plane ticket - What better way can that money be spend?

So, the crux of the matter is that, if the divine let the money flow through you, let him. You are not doing anything. You are just watching the big show, to which you are also a part. Intelligence is not to get confused between the play and the real...

Jai Gurudev

Everything is Same

2007-05-25T22:52:00.000-07:00

When you start asking the question " Who am I" and when you realize that you are neither the body,nor the mind, then there is nothing that words can describe. You know you are, but you dont know what is it. Just an unknowingness. Is there anything beyond that? I dont know...

When one realizes that you are neither the body nor the mind and you are that, then every knowledge suddenly make sense. What every Guru, every book and everything is saying the same. It is no difference at all. I am amazed to see that as far as ultimate knowledge is concerned everyone is saying the same thing.

As the pure consciousness, I am the same as everything. When the mind and the impressions are completely removed, then there is that, which is beyond expression. Can there be two there? When the sunlight comes through the yellow glass it looks yellow and when it is through the green glass, it looks green. Once the glasses are removed, then there is light - Neither green nor yellow. So when one is really beyond mind, then there is it. No me or you.

Guriji has beautifully explained here http://www.newindpress.com/sunday/colItems.asp?ID=SEE20030426095405
that enlightness is a joke. When one ponders over, one realizes that "I cant get enlightment, becuase ending of me is enlightnment"...

Jai Gurudev

My Journey

2007-05-19T23:03:00.001-07:00

My spiritual journey started when I was in the 3rd standard. My grandfather used to lead a Mega satsang on the first sunday of every month. There will be Bhajans, Discourses by grandfather and there will be prasad. My grandfather had kept a photo of his Guru (http://www.srdm.org/Gurupadar.htm) at our house. Before the mega satsang, he used to come to our house and light diya ( a small lamp) in front of his guru's picture. On that Sunday, he took me with him in his scooter to the mega satsang. I was 8 years old then. The satsang used to be at a Krishna temple, beleived to be built by the Pandavas during their vanaprastha (when they were hiding from the enemies in the forest). This temple is at the top of a big rock. There are 110 steps to climb to reach this temple. There was a devotee's house at the foothills of this rock, where my grandfather used to stay on the day of the satsang. I clearly remember myself sitting in that house. I was very shy. Every one was telling that this boy is swamiji's grandson!!!. Grandpa went to the temple for the satsang and the people at the house gave me something to eat and then took me to the temple for Satsang. I dont remember much after that. After the lunch prasad, my father came and took me backhome. And that was the beginning of my spiritual life!!!... More later

Few stories about my Grandpa.

He started the Satsang at a place, which was very close to a colony started by kerala govt for poor and homeless people. More people came to the satsang to have the free lunch offered at the satsang than to attend the satsang. There were a lot of people attend the satsang for the whole day, but a lot of people from the colony just came for the lunch. The lunch will start with Grandpa serving food to the people from the colony. There was a separate line for people, who just want to have food. For many, the first sunday means, they get stomach full of food. And the most famous story about the food served is that, there is always enough food for everyone. Irrespective of the number of people show up, there is always enough food for everyone. It was such a surprise to many. But those who knew divine as the "anna dhata" - it was no surprise.

Those at the satsang had the opportunity to say some great stories. One of them is about the rain. As many of you know, it rains heavily in Kerala in May, June, July & August. The temple where the satsang was held did not have any covered shed. The food was prepared on the open ground. So rain means no food preparation. And on every first sunday of those months, it wont rain till the food is prepared. And if it has to rain, then it rains all around the rock, but not on the rock. It is such an amazing and awesome experience to see it raining all around the rock, but not where the food was prepared...I dont know much stories about my grandpa, because for me he was always the sweet grandpa and never really the divine master, except towards the very end of his life, when I started seeing that. But, by then it was time for him to leave his physical body. But, I am not sad. Even though, his physical body is not here, he is with me, with all of us in each moment.

When I did my first Art of living course, I was really concerned whether I am stepping in the right path. In the same night I had a dream - A dream in which Guruji is sitting at my grandpa's Ashram. And that told me that I am in the right path and he is with me in this path.

Jai Gurudev

Why do we do Puja?

2007-05-19T22:59:00.000-07:00

This question has been daunting me always. On one side there is the Path and Guru and on the other side, we come across different temples and gods. The questions keep on arising as why do we do Puja. Recently I got an answer to this. One can debate or disagree with me. But, at this time, this is the realization that I had. All the different Gods, masters and all of us are the manifestations of the divine himself. Unless our mind is completelty out of the duality, we have to live rules and rituals. (Agreed, everything is depending on the mind). Till that time when one realizes the ulitmate reality in complete oneness, one needs to respect all the different kinds of angels, subtle energies. And their support and help infact will help us to progress in both materialistic and spiritual planes. If we dont do what we are supposed to, then we have to face the consequences. Our Guru can help prevent that. But, knowing and appropriately worshipping the Gods and angels, one will be able to flow through the life without disturbances and realize the true oneness of who we are. There was an incident explained in the book "Sri Sri as I know him", where Guruji explains this and how he saved a devotee from experiencing the wrath of subtle energies..

Jai Gurudev

Another Experience

2007-05-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

Guruji is there with us in every step. Just open your eyes and see it. His grace is flowing limitlessly. Just realize that and be in the blissful experience.

Yesterday (5/13), after coming back from MahaKriya, I had a long discussion with my brother in Dubai. At the end of it, I felt I was dragging my self in a discussion that I should have avoided. Just after I kept the phone down, I felt that something is not correct. My mind was feeling heavy. Normally I take 1 min to get into sleep. However yesterday my sleep was disturbed. Some where around 2.30 AM, I woke up after seeing some dream. I intutively knew that the karma I did with my mind and words were not correct. I immediately sat up, and started writing a letter to Guruji. While writing I realized that a Peace is coming to me. Once I finished the note, I randomly took the book "Sri Sri as I know him" and opened a page to read - And there is the answer from Guruji. It is exactly on the topic that was troubling me and exactly the answer I needed. This is awesome and amazing. Guruji is with us all the time and right here and now. Just realize that and that is it...

Jai Gurudev.

Seva & Ego

2007-05-13T21:27:00.000-07:00

It is extremely hard, not to feel elated when one does good Seva. However, the purpose of Seva itself is to go beyond the ego. What is ego - It is the feeling that I am separate from the entire universe. So ego is not just the feeling whether I did good or great, it is the feeling that I am separate. In that sense, we all have egos. Most of us take the word ego to mean "self boasting". But the true meaning of ego in vedanta is "Separation".

So it is tricky. While doing Seva, it is important at all time to be able to aware that you are not doing anything. The action is happening through this body at a given time and place. There is no one doing it. Once you see this, there is no question of feeling elated or feeling depressed. Then, there is no difference between any work you do. Your office work, your house hold duties, everything is Seva. Or everything is your household work!!!. There is no judegement, no fingerpointing, and every thing is fine as they are. Then the accepting people and situations as they are just happens. You dont do it. I dont know any thing beyond that...

Jai Gurudev

Another Experience with Art of Living and SriSri

2007-05-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

There is a saying among Art of Living followers - "In AOL, we dont believe in Miracles, but we count on them to make things happen". - Based on few of my experiences, I would say this is indeed true. I will narrate a few of my experiences.

School Admission -

My daughter goes to a private school now, where she is enrolled in a pre-school. We wanted her to go to that school for the Kintergarten as well. However, the fees were quite high and we were debating about sending her to public school. It was around that time that the heroes of humanity events were happening across America. My wife was helping by calling a few schools. One day she started calling a few schools to get recommendations for youth nominations. Just after a few calls, when she kept the phone down, there was a call from my daughter's school. The call was from the school office and they mentioned that they want our daughter to continue in the same school and they were considering us for a scholarship so that our daughter could continue in the same school. To many it was a coicidence. But, let me tell you, based on the number of experiences that I had, it was no coincidence. It is all Guruji's blessings. He is there to take care of us in each moment and in each incident..

Bombay Airport

This happend in Sep 2005. I was travelling to India by Air India. I was having my customs clearance at Bombay. I was not carrying any gift items. All I had was a digital camera and camcorder. The customs officer was not willing to let me go. I told him that he can enter them in my Passport since I am planning to bring them back. He was not willing to let me go. This was at 3.30 AM. My wife and 4 year old daughter were waiting outside. After one and a half our, I got fedup. Finally, I closed my eyes and said Guruji, I cant take it any more. That precise moment, the officer just handed me the passport and told me that you may go. I am totally surprised by the way he suddenly let me go. It was nothing but one of the many experiences. To many, this may sound simple. But, those who have experienced knows that Guruji takes care of even the smallest of things.

Awareness

2007-05-03T23:04:00.000-07:00

Today's thought -

I am that, that which is aware of all the stories, not anything that can be defined. Any definition is of the words and of the mind. When the mind and words come into play, immediately it become a story. The mind, the body and the stories rise in the awareness...

What does the awareness do? Is it something that can do anything? Doing is of the physical and mental plane. Will awarness do something? Or is Awareness is ?

Who makes up the stories? the mind. So who runs the show of events? I dont know. When we look really objectively, without using the mind, what does one see? A lot of actions are happening. But, no one is doing anything. Mind takes the ownership. But, what is the proof that the mind can do something? I dont know how a thing happens. Because, a thought has to rise in the mind for any physical actions to take place. Who makes the thought happen? Me? How could you possibly say that?

Anyway, one thing that makes most sense is that everything rises in awareness and awareness give life to everything. If I (or the awareness of the event) does not exist, then the event itself does not exist. Let me sleep over the understanding of awareness.

I was pondering over the point - Accept people and situations as they are. Who accepts whom? Accepting people as they are means, they are separate from you. Separation is the mind. What if the mind is wiped from each individual. What then remains? Just the plain life force? Then who accepts and whom? So the end point is when you realize you are not the mind, there is neither acceptance nor rejection. Just be and as it is....

Jai Gurudev

My Experience with Art of Living

2007-04-30T22:58:00.000-07:00

I have been connected with Art of Living since April 2005. I have brought atleast a few people including my family members to the Art of Living programs and most of them became active followers.

Many people, who start out with skeptics, changed to active followers very soon. The benefits one gain from Sudarshan Kriya is very very powerful to ignore in daily life, even for those who never had any interest in spiritual life. But the most impotant thing to keep in mind is to continue the practice after the first course. If possible, repeat the part I within 2-3 months, follow it up with an advanced course. Those have done meditation and yoga might feel the benefits sooner or deeper than those who have never done anything like that before. One thing for sure, every one can experience the positive aspects, which are too many to list out here.

One thing, personally I felt is while it is very good to spread the knowledge, one should not fall out of the primary focus of life - That is to grow and live by the knowledge. The physical impact one can make to the society or to other people are limited. However, when one grows in knowledge and practice deep meditations, the impact on the society and the people around are much more powerful. Gurudev himself said this in his recent visit to Washington DC. He said " Seva and all are OK. But dont forget to go deep into meditation".

When we try to make things happen by working hard (believing that we make things happen), it also pre-supposes that there is a particular causation behind everything. Is this true? Logically it does not seem so. Everything can be the cause of everything. For eg: I am sitting here and writing this blog - So many things over many years has to happen so that I could sit here and write this blog. I myself saying that I am the owner or writer of this blog does not make any sense at all. So if one broadens one's vision, there is no particular cause for anything. Everything is caused by everything. Or in other words, you are not the doer. The entire universe makes everything happen!!! What a powerful conclusion!!

This does not mean that one should not work hard. When one realizes that there is no particular cause for anything, the resistance to the action drops and the seva happens automatically. And the results just dont matter at all...

Jai Gurudev...

My Experiences with SriSri

2007-04-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

I am sure there are thousands of Guru stories going around and every one has multiple stories to tell. I am sharing a few of my experieces with Gurudev.

This one happened during the recent event at Washington DC. There were a few people from Seattle going to Washington DC and they asked me whether I want to join. However, I was not inclined at all. Also, I did not want or rather did not have much cash on hand, especially since I bought a new home only a couple of weeks back. My house closing was scheduled to be on 3/26/2007. I was also planning to do DSN in bay area. So, in short, I was not really planning to go to Washington DC.

A few days before going to DSN, my wife (reshmi) said to me that she has a feeling that we should go to washington DC. Well, I said let us tell Guruji to make it happen. Then that night, while going to bed, I told Guruji that I want to come to Washington DC and please make it happen. This was on a Sunday. On monday we went to sign our house papers and here comes the surprise - I got $3k cash back from the closing, which I was not expecting to get. (This money was originally supposed to be counted against the loan principal). So that was the first thing. Ok now the money has come, but we have only 2 days to do all the arrangements, since I was travelling to Bay area on thursday morning for my DSN with Anandji.

So on tuesday, our friend informed me that she has arranged for our stay with a family in DC and we dont have to worry about the stay. They also arranged for the pick up from the airport. In short everything happened so fast, by wednesday afternoon, we had our travel planned completely. As per the plan, we will come back from DC on 3/30 and on 3/31 we have to move from the apt to our new home. So just one day for a complete house shift!!

So I wento DSN on thursday morning and came back to Seattle on monday evening. On tuesday early morning, we left for DC. As Anandji said during DSN, occassions were created to ensure that we are living the knowledge. At DC, we went to see Guruji, at the hotel where he was staying. However, I could not talk to him or personally meet him. I was feeling so heavy in my heart that I was feeling all kinds of emotions. I thought, if it was in my grandfather's ashrmam, I would not have to bother about anything and I will be like a VIP, since I am the grandson of the master.. I was feeling so heavy that I could not talk to Guruji. I sat down on the floor and told myself that I am not going to the silver jubilee event. However, somehow, by 5.30 I got up and said ok, let us go. So Reshmi and myself (we had $ 75 tickets) went to the venue. We went to the couter, to pick up our tickets - and here comes the climax. WE WERE GIVEN VIP TICKETS. First I could not understand as why I got VIP tickets, then I thought, oh may be we got wrong tickets. I looked at the names again. It said Shyam Nair. Then I was talking with a devotee from Seattle and he told us that if I got the VIP pass, I should go for VIP reception. Then suddenly it occurred to me - My guru is telling me that I am a VIP for him and he answered my doubts and questions - I could not control my emotions. I just went to the VIP reception and met Guruji in the middle of all the invited guests...

Jai Gurudev...

Living in Peace...

2007-04-27T23:24:00.000-07:00

In my quest to get ahead in my spiritual journey, I was browsing through all the books that I can get my hands on. While reading the review on " I AM THAT", I came across Stephen Wingate. He has explained some of the teachings of Nisargadatta in simple language that stuck home quite easily. Since then, many more things started making sense.

Stephen's pointers are very direct. It actually, pulled me from the so called search. I was realizing that my search for the reality may be actually pulling me back from seeing the truth. Stephen was very nice and kind enough to speak over the phone and explained some of the doubts I had. After I talked with Stephen, I was continuing with my question "Who am I". I kept on asking myself. Sometimes verbalizing, sometimes keeping it inside. The more I ask, the more I came back to myself or to the center. I also started reading his book "The Outrageous Myths of Enlightment". It took me a while to understand what he says. One day I was sitting on the couch and was looking at the refrigerator and I was keep asking myself as who is seeing the refrigerator. I could not identify any person who is watching the refrigerator. But, there is seeing happening. Then who is seeing. The question remained without answers. There are talks and talks on this. But, I could not see anything that can be defined. But, one thing was sure - There is no me who is seeing. If you consider there is a me, that is pure imagination. That realization or understanding was very powerful. It was the first strong realization that I am not the doer. There is nothing that "Shyam" the person can do, because Shyam the person is imaginary.

I would say this was the real step in my journey or search. Since this incident, life continued be the same. But, I noticed major shifts in my life. I am not concerned about death any more. My body fear has substantially reduced. I become less interested in spiritual devleopment processes. An inner peace and silence came along with it. But there were times the mind goes back to the insecurities and to the stories, as Stephen, says of Shyam. However, the belief in stories has become weaker.

Immediately afterwards, I did not feel like attending any more courses or retreats and kind of started questioning or debating. However, everytime the questioning comes up in the mind, with it came the question " Who is doing the questioning". This experience also gave me the courage to be truthful to the core.

I did an Art of living Part II course in Feb 2007. Through out the first 3 days, I was questioning myself as what is happening. But one the last day, the answers came from Inside. Though, atleast for a few seconds, there was a realization that there is no doer. I also happened to read an article on how the Karma affects the mental impressions and how the impressions shape the thoughts. So during this course, it just stuck me that the meditations are actually clearing out the mental impressons and helping to see with clarity. Since then I have started liking the art of living advanced courses. Also my sadhana became so effortless that it just happens..

Art Of Living

2007-04-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

During my search, I was introduced into the art of living courses in April 2005. As any one else, I had my own level of skepticism to begin with. However as I grew in knowledge, the skepticisms dropped - Not only against art of living, but for any spiritual path. There are different paths so that people could pick a path that suits their mental outlook. The reality is ONE. All our opinions are coming from the mind.

The truth is to see who you are. You can follow Sri Sri, read Yoga Vasishta, follow Iskcon - You can do pretty much anything you want. But, unless you are willing to take the chance, walk the path(any thing that you choose) , and be sincere to the core, you will not go beyond the words and the mind - FOr the real thing is beyond the mind. When one can see that, then this feeling arises - "Oh ho...". Then suddenly everything makes sense.

When one sees that even for a moment, how does any thing matter? Who does what?...There is no one to question and no one to answer!!!!..Any way before comprehending knowledge, one should be able to look inside - That is grow beyond the mental impressions. These techniques are essentially to go beyond your mental impressions and see the things as they are.

Follow any practices you like. But make a 100% committment and do everything what the guru says to the core - 100% and then see what happens. Sri Sri is one of the greatest human beings - Or the Being that ever lived on this planet. I am not surprised by people not accepting it. For that matter, the world never truly appreciated anyone. They killed Socrates, Gandhi, Jesus and Lincoln. So I am not surprised about the comments. To make any comment, one must be an expert in that field. So first things first. Do your basic course. Do sadhana regularly. Do some advanced courses and go deep inside. Then make your comments...

Seeing the reality

2007-04-11T23:15:00.000-07:00

I have read quite a bit about spiritual literature. My favorite is " I AM THAT" by Nisargadatta. In it HE explains that you are that which is beyond any expression. Sometimes I feel I get it. But here is the catch. The feeling is in the mind. And just realizing, that the truth, that who you are, is not any way connected to words and images.

I dont know what will come out of this search. But for sure sometime I had this realization that I am not anything that can be referred as. Everything, including the body and mind changes. There is a changeless thing behind all these. That is "I AM".

Now, that brought in me a calmness and accepting things totally as they are. In between, feelings and emotions arise. But, when asked to whom these arise, the answer is always body - mind nexus. But, there is still the me, who just watches. Does nothing else...I see the futility of words and actions. They seems to just happen.

As of now, I am hanging on to the "I AM"..The vehicle or path.

There is a beautiful song - "Atmashtakam"

Mano budhya ahankara chithaa ninaham,
Na cha srothra jihwe na cha graana nethrer,
Na cha vyoma bhoomir na thejo na vayu,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham.

Na cha praana samgno na vai pancha vaayur,
Na vaa saptha dhathur na va pancha kosa,
Na vak pani padam na chopa stha payu,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham.

Na me dwesha raghou na me lobha mohou,
Madho naiva me naiva matsarya bhava,
Na dharmo na cha artha na kamo na moksha,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham.

Na punyam na paapam na soukhyam na dukham,
Na manthro na theertham na veda na yagna,
Aham bhojanam naiva bhojyam na bhoktha,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham.

Na mruthyur na sankha na me jathi bhedha,
Pitha naiva me naiva matha na janma,
Na bhandhur na mithram gurur naiva sishya,
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham.

Aham nirvi kalpi nirakara roopi,
Vibhuthwascha sarvathra sarvendriyanaam,
Na cha sangatham naiva mukthir na meya
Chidananada Roopa Shivoham, Shivoham.

Tonite I am going to read another page in Yoga Vasishta

In Search of....

2007-04-10T23:03:00.000-07:00

We are all in search of some thing in our life. When we are young, we were looking for toys. When we were at school, we were looking for friends, time for play etc. When we were in our teens, we were looking for that one boy or girl who could be ours!!. Then looking for a job, when you get a job, looking for a better job. When you get married, looking for children. When you have children looking for a school admission.

Some others are in Search of spiritual experiences. They go all the places, drink in the ocean of various religious philosophies, do a lot of service, donate money to charities. But, here again the life remains "in search of some thing"...

Some others try to become something - that itself is in search of something...Everyone in this entire universe is in search of something or other. When do we stop searching?

Here my search - Truly is there a my search and your search? This is in search of...I dont know what I am searching for. When I found out what I am truly searching for, then this blog will stop...

I welcome your thoughts about your searches....

Seeker