Thoughts and Surrender

I have heard and read quite a bit about surrender. Bhagavad Geetha talks about it. Pretty much every one you meet on the path or every book you read will tell you to surrender. I was wondering as what this surrender is. How to surrender has been the biggest problem. I think of surrendering and then imagine everything that I don't want to have and then tell to myself that I have surrendered. So I keep surrendering and nothing seems to happen. However I got into this belief that surrender and everything is done. Now you will be "successful" on your spiritual path. Some how this notion was in my head for quite some time...

Recently, I have been focusing attention on my thoughts and being aware of the thoughts that were arising in me. As I kept watching my thoughts and feelings, I could drop thinking much faster. For eg: you are arguing with some one. You always get a tendency to prove that you are right. For every word the other person says, you want to say something. It does not matter, whether you speak externally or internally, you want to speak. That is the ego trying to establish itself. May be I should not use the word ego. It is over used and complicated. Anyway, a feeling inside you don't want to stop. By luck or grace if you are able to suddenly become silent from inside when you are having an argument with someone, that is when you have surrendered. Every word you speak then will not touch you. It elevates you suddenly to a new level of comfort and peace. I now realize what it means to be surrendered - A thoughtless state....

May you all be able to truly surrender and feel the inner silence from which every word, both internal and external arises....

Love

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