Victim and Guilt Consciousness

I have been having an issue with a colleague of mine. Before he became my colleague, he was my friend and I knew him for a long time. He is a very nice person and we had a good relationship. However once he became my colleague, things started changing a little bit. There were a few issues that both of us felt that we were trying to get ahead of each other at work. There is this competitive spirit that was dampening our friendship. Over time, I felt my belief in him dropping and I finally start doubting his motive. Is he trying to push me aside? Is he trying to show that he is smarter etc etc.. The mind gets something and it gets hang on to it. So I started complaining that he is troubling me at work and was looking at everying he is doing. Gradually without me being aware, he started occuppying my mind, while I am at work. Once I leave the work, I am back to normal. I could not understand why this was happening.

Today it blew off. I asked him why he was behaving this way to me and he said, " No I am not behaving any special way to you". I came home and started looking at my mind. Then my wife reminded me about the course that I did with Rishiji. Suddently I remembered the course point Victim Consciousness - I was under the victim consciousness. I was feeling something wrong was done to me by my friend and others. The moment I became aware of the victim consciousness, I became free.

After I blew it off with him, I start feeling guilty and suddenly the realization that I am affected by guilty consciousness came upon me. That was very revealing. We all go through different events and many faces of the "I"ness appear in our mind. Being aware of these will help you go beyond the "I"ness. There are seven aspects of "I" ness. They are

Guilt consciousness
Victim consciousness
Attack consciousness
Blame consciousness
Defense consciousness
Aloof consciousness
Lack consciousness

May you be able to understand when these occur in your life and be able to go beyond them...

Love and Jai Gurudev

Comments

Abhi said…
excellent post.

The many faces of "I"ness.

Well said..

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