Living in Peace...
In my quest to get ahead in my spiritual journey, I was browsing through all the books that I can get my hands on. While reading the review on " I AM THAT", I came across Stephen Wingate. He has explained some of the teachings of Nisargadatta in simple language that stuck home quite easily. Since then, many more things started making sense.
Stephen's pointers are very direct. It actually, pulled me from the so called search. I was realizing that my search for the reality may be actually pulling me back from seeing the truth. Stephen was very nice and kind enough to speak over the phone and explained some of the doubts I had. After I talked with Stephen, I was continuing with my question "Who am I". I kept on asking myself. Sometimes verbalizing, sometimes keeping it inside. The more I ask, the more I came back to myself or to the center. I also started reading his book "The Outrageous Myths of Enlightment". It took me a while to understand what he says. One day I was sitting on the couch and was looking at the refrigerator and I was keep asking myself as who is seeing the refrigerator. I could not identify any person who is watching the refrigerator. But, there is seeing happening. Then who is seeing. The question remained without answers. There are talks and talks on this. But, I could not see anything that can be defined. But, one thing was sure - There is no me who is seeing. If you consider there is a me, that is pure imagination. That realization or understanding was very powerful. It was the first strong realization that I am not the doer. There is nothing that "Shyam" the person can do, because Shyam the person is imaginary.
I would say this was the real step in my journey or search. Since this incident, life continued be the same. But, I noticed major shifts in my life. I am not concerned about death any more. My body fear has substantially reduced. I become less interested in spiritual devleopment processes. An inner peace and silence came along with it. But there were times the mind goes back to the insecurities and to the stories, as Stephen, says of Shyam. However, the belief in stories has become weaker.
Immediately afterwards, I did not feel like attending any more courses or retreats and kind of started questioning or debating. However, everytime the questioning comes up in the mind, with it came the question " Who is doing the questioning". This experience also gave me the courage to be truthful to the core.
I did an Art of living Part II course in Feb 2007. Through out the first 3 days, I was questioning myself as what is happening. But one the last day, the answers came from Inside. Though, atleast for a few seconds, there was a realization that there is no doer. I also happened to read an article on how the Karma affects the mental impressions and how the impressions shape the thoughts. So during this course, it just stuck me that the meditations are actually clearing out the mental impressons and helping to see with clarity. Since then I have started liking the art of living advanced courses. Also my sadhana became so effortless that it just happens..
Stephen's pointers are very direct. It actually, pulled me from the so called search. I was realizing that my search for the reality may be actually pulling me back from seeing the truth. Stephen was very nice and kind enough to speak over the phone and explained some of the doubts I had. After I talked with Stephen, I was continuing with my question "Who am I". I kept on asking myself. Sometimes verbalizing, sometimes keeping it inside. The more I ask, the more I came back to myself or to the center. I also started reading his book "The Outrageous Myths of Enlightment". It took me a while to understand what he says. One day I was sitting on the couch and was looking at the refrigerator and I was keep asking myself as who is seeing the refrigerator. I could not identify any person who is watching the refrigerator. But, there is seeing happening. Then who is seeing. The question remained without answers. There are talks and talks on this. But, I could not see anything that can be defined. But, one thing was sure - There is no me who is seeing. If you consider there is a me, that is pure imagination. That realization or understanding was very powerful. It was the first strong realization that I am not the doer. There is nothing that "Shyam" the person can do, because Shyam the person is imaginary.
I would say this was the real step in my journey or search. Since this incident, life continued be the same. But, I noticed major shifts in my life. I am not concerned about death any more. My body fear has substantially reduced. I become less interested in spiritual devleopment processes. An inner peace and silence came along with it. But there were times the mind goes back to the insecurities and to the stories, as Stephen, says of Shyam. However, the belief in stories has become weaker.
Immediately afterwards, I did not feel like attending any more courses or retreats and kind of started questioning or debating. However, everytime the questioning comes up in the mind, with it came the question " Who is doing the questioning". This experience also gave me the courage to be truthful to the core.
I did an Art of living Part II course in Feb 2007. Through out the first 3 days, I was questioning myself as what is happening. But one the last day, the answers came from Inside. Though, atleast for a few seconds, there was a realization that there is no doer. I also happened to read an article on how the Karma affects the mental impressions and how the impressions shape the thoughts. So during this course, it just stuck me that the meditations are actually clearing out the mental impressons and helping to see with clarity. Since then I have started liking the art of living advanced courses. Also my sadhana became so effortless that it just happens..
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